Q: Why isn't Michael Jordan able to jump into space with only 1 leap? A: If that were possible, the supposedly absolute laws of physics would've been irreversibly violated to the full extent that the future of science would be in trouble and the future of some already mentally-unstable people would've been deeply jeopardized to a state that they couldn't naturally recover from.

Why did the woman not make her husband a sandwich? Because he died in 9/11

Q) what's black and white and red all over? A) a slaughtered zebra.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The answer really isn't that important.

What is it called when a whole bunch of black people run down a hill? A race.

What's worse? Cleaning a New York bathroom, or getting stabbed. WELL I DON'T GIVE A GOD DAMN!!! They both suck!

Why should you be concerned when you see a mexican riding a bike? because he probably wasnt wearing a helmet

What did the little boy order at Burger King? He ordered a burger and wiped his booger on the counter.

what does it mean when Justin Bieber sounds like a boy someones hit puberty

what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

Why did Jimmy's sexy teacher ask him to stay behind after class? His grades have been slipping and she expects better from her students. How anyone views her sexually is of no relevance to this situation.

What's worse than a spider bite? Two spider bites. What's worse than two spider bites? The fact that 1/3 of people get cancer. What's worse than that? Three spider bites.

What do you call a girl with no arms or legs on the beach? Sandy What do you call that girl tossed into the water? Sandy Duncan

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

When adolf hitler went to the chippy, He ordered a bock wurst. Later, he ate the whole thing and said he wants another.

rebecca is a hard worker

Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: His name.

.... Take my wife..... .... She is lovely....

A friend of yours tells you his version of The Aristocrats. You just wasted about 5-20 minutes of your life.

they call me the green lantern because my little sister died in chemical fire

what's the difference between a pogo stick and a traffic cone? well for starters, traffic a cones main function is to cordon off areas or alert drivers to certain areas of road that are not to be breached and pogo sticks are used as toys to heighten bouncing. I'll stop here but the list goes on.

Why didn't Sally make it to school on time? She got savagely beaten and raped.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I like to rape cats.

A duck walks into a bar. He sees Khloe Kardashian sitting on a barstool. The duck runs out of the bar screaming.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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