What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

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Gay's rights

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and stink.

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porn-hub

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he felt like it.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzie.

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what do you call a 2-foot blue scottishman named max? max

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hipsters

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How did the magician make it look like there are 2 books on the table? By putting 2 books on the table

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Why did 12 people die when they went to see The Dark Knight Rises movie premiere? Because they were shot and bled profusely resulting in quick, painful death.

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^that joke a piece of shit

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Your social life.

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If you stretch all your skin out in a line, you will die of blood loss or possible infection

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Q:Why did the man fall down the stair I don't know? A:Because he wasn't careful

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Wow, so it is true, you are here the entire fucking time aren't you bitch? You and all "six billion of your followers of the dark", listen asshead, one thing is people asking ME when I FUCKING SIGN BOOKS (which does not happen all that FUCKING OFTEN!) Why I lead a fucking cult of sorts. Another one is having your goons stab me in the FUCKING EYE, and going "Oh I am like so sorry, please let me be the gayest I can be" People assaulting me because I use the "Moralman identity" IT IS MINE! My real FUCKING NAME IS NERO! I DON'T GO AROUND STEALING NOBODY`S SHIT!

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A man walks up to a woman in a bar. They hit it off. That night they make wild sex and fall madly in love with each other. They start dating, it's so fantastic. They understand each other on almost every emotional and intellectual level. They have the same humor and they love spending time together. The sex is so great. After a few years, they get married, and they start the rest of their lives together. They have 2 beautiful children and their lives are blossoming. Fast forward 30 years. They are both retired old people, yet still madly in love. They live in their old home, and their lives are very comfortable. Their children have grown up into adults, and are very happy. Fast forward another 10 years, and they now live in an elderly home. They are both in wheelchairs and their health is slowly deteriorating. They die.

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What is grey and looks like a rock? A rock

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. He values his privacy and will not tell me his motives.

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Sally sold seashells by the seashore but she didnt make any money of course. seashells on the shore can be picked up off the beach for free

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Why didn't the gangster cross the road? Because he J-walked and was hit by a car.

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What's worse than a crying baby? A dead one...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was a metaphor.

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A dog walked into the forest and saw a whale in a puddle

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In the movie Dark Skies, little white boys were haunted by a mysterious force. The answer is obvious, isn't it? They are being haunted by Michael Jackson's ghost.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops