There are 100 men enjoying a cruise to celebrate an important contract going through at their place of employment. The boat then suffers a major malfunction and tragically sinks to the bottom of the ocean, miles from any land masses. Not a single man died, how is this possible? They all used the lifeboats supplied on the boat and followed the standard procedure to deal with such a crisis.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my penis, so suck it baby.

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what is the only death better than asama bin ladin JUSTIN BIEBER'S

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That is so sweet of you, for a moment I thought I had said something that might have insulted you, but then again, considering the length of the message I see why it took so long.

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Why did ned fall out of the tree? Because he was hit by a koala.

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What did the boy do when he got an F on his English paper? -Laughed.

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What did the house do when it came alive? It went home

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's being held hostage against her will.

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Roses are red, violets are blue i've got a gun, pointing at you

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What do you call a pen sitting on a counter? A righting utensil not being currently used.

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What's more funny than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed like a clown.

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What do you call a puppy with no limbs? It doesn't matter, he's never coming back.

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Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second muffin and says "OH MY GOD I CAN TALK!" the second muffin is so shaken in its beliefe system by a talking muffin that it commits suicide.

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What do you get when you cross a canary and a lawnmower? Nothing. A canary is a small bird, and a lawnmower is an inanimate object. Any procreation of this sort would likely produce no offspring.

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Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the World Chicken Road Crossing Competition.

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religion.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because he was Pierre preasured by all you assholes Saying he already did it so now he feels like he Has to do it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody actually knows this because the chicken could not tell us why he/she crossed the road so it would be nearly impossible to get the answer.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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What time is it? I believe it's half past 10, sir. Damn, I'm late for a meeting. May I ask, what time are you supposed to be there? 11 O'clock Why sir you have half an hour left. No shiitt, sherlock

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How many carrots can you fit in a truck Depends who's driving

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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