Roses are black, violets are black, we are all black Shit i'm colour blind

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What are little Timmy's hopes and dreams? Destroyed.

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what did the short man say to the shoe? i sincerely hope that someone wouldn't try to carry a conversation with an inannnimate object, or else he is socially disturbed

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your so ugly, im going to kill you! Just kidding.......... Violets are purple. -Harrison

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Why did so many white people vote for obama? They strongly believed in what he had to say, and believed he was the right person to lead our country during its troubled times.

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What happened when Aladdin rubbed his lamp? It got slightly cleaner.

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and broccoli? A lot.

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A fish finds that his fishbowl is on fire. He escapes the bowl only to realize he is equally screwed.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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What do you call a really small grape? A grape.

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, "Oh...Well, that's not so bad. At least I don't have AIDS."

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What has 2 brown legs and 2 gray legs? An elephant with diarrhea.

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knock knock who's there? a murderer. a murderer who? a murderer who kills you and your family.

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Violets are red. Roses are blue. I am drunk, and i'm about to spew.

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Q: What is George Harrison's favorite hairstyle? A: How can we know? He's dead!

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what happened to the boy who crossed the street. he got shot by a bus

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What's the difference between a freezer and a baby? A freezer doesn't scream when I pack my meat into it.

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How do you make friends with a squrriel? Trust me, don't.

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knock knock Who's there? because 7 ate 9

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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What's long and hard and looks like plastic? A plastic baton.

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Whats the differense between a pile of dead babies and a Farrari I actually have a Farrari in my garage.

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why did summer hit the child because the child is jackson

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Why did the bus fall down? It was hit by a bus and then repeatedly battered by a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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