What do you call a black guy who sells drugs? a pharmacist

Snausages.

What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

What do you call a pig with one eye? A pig.

What did the dog say when the woman put a sweater on him? Nothing, dogs can't talk and he has no idea what is going on

Why do reindeer pull Santa's Sleigh? Because Santa won't feed them if they don't.

What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

bob saget

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Why did the leprechaun cross the road? If you still believe in leprechauns, you need to see a doctor.

Why are black guys good at basketball? Hard work and determination.

Why did the man eat his hat? Autism.

Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

why do birds fly away when you go near them? incase your black

Why was it sad that the kid was playing football? He had no arms and legs and he was the football.

Who has killed more people than Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, and Jack Kevorkian combined? Mr. Rogers

How do you punish an electrician? Kill his family.

I TOOK A STEAMING SHIT ON YOUR MOM

Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? He had no arms… Why did he have no arms? Jimmy was a potato

How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

Yo mamma is so fat she needs a highly dangerous gastrointestinal bypass and if she dies you will wish she had made more of an effort to diet.

Why wasn't there a rainbow? It didn't rain.

Why is Kony hated by the kid with ADHD? Hey look a kid being raped while watching his family getting killed.

What's purple and gross? Purple gross stuff

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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