I just farted, and now I have to Chit!

Person 1: Eric is in the hospital! I think it was those depression pills. Person 2: What did he overdose? Person 3: No he just took to much.

What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

Why do birds fly south in winter? Because its too far to go walking.

K.

A Cow Walk's Into A Bar And Say's Drink Please The Bartender Is Then Sent To A Mental Hospital For Talking To A Cow.

Yes.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Why did the man have a hole in his head? He was shot.

What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm dyslexic couldn't tell, could you?

What's worse than aids? Super aids.

knock, knock! who`s there? it`s me ! who me? yes!

Why did little Tommy sink to the bottom of the pool? He had no arms.

A priest walks past a mailbox with the number 666 on it. Nothing happens, because it is an ordinary mailbox.

Why do guys like Halloween? Martin Luther posted the 95 theses in 1517 on this day.

What did the father say to his gay son? "Finish your homework."

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. What about the vampires?

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting cancer from a horse.

Cleveland winning something

What did John the accountant do when he saw a flying dog, He woke up from a wonderful dream and started his day

No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

Who has killed more people than Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, and Jack Kevorkian combined? Mr. Rogers

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 has been charged on 3 accounts of 2nd degrees murder and 6 fears for his life.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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