A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Why did the boy eat his bagel? He was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -94

What's the difference between a black man and a pile of shit ? One is a black man, the other is a pile of shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -134

what's worse than getting an unwarranted parking ticket? Serving a life sentence for killing the meter man.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's worse than getting kicked by a horse? Drowning.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A: A blue plastic bag in the wind.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why Did The Girl Cry? Old People Are Funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

hi

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Why did the Asian man have a small penis? Because he was flaccid.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

why do pedo's molest children? because it feels really good.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

thumb_up thumb_down -115

Suzie has no arms and no legs and is on a swing. what happened? she fell and died knock knock whos there? not suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

thumb_up thumb_down -168

Why did the doctor have no peins? She was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +127

What did the gay man say to the other gay man? Hey, we're both gay, let's have sex!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How do you make an eggroll? You push it.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Once upon a time, your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating at night? A: Yell "DROP IT NIGGAH!" Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating in the day time? A: Run away cause your house is haunted.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did the chicken cross the road? because he happened to cross the road

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops