what did the duck say to the hawk? quack

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Mary Lu was swinging on a swing * swush swush* and her mom was sweeping the porch when she sad Mary Lu go get that big fat shiny quarter on that road then Mary Lu say how about you get your self that big fat shiny quarter.! Her mom drop the broom in discussed and walkout into the road and was bout to bend down when swush a bus runs her over And Mary Lu just laughed and laughed she knew that wasn't a big fat shiny quarter it was a nickel!!!!

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what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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Q. What language cant you speak A.Sign language

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ask me if im poop are you poop? no that is impoible

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I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

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agp

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What's faster than a black guy with your TV? Probably someone who doesn't have to carry such a heavy object.

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Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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A man walks into a bar, has a few drinks and spots a nice looking lady He then follows her home and molestes her child.

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A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't a drunk driver went off the street and hit the chicken and killed it on impact.

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Ever hear the joke about the black guy going to jail its not a joke.

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Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

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In Soviet Russia, You drive the car, fill it up with gas and park it Just like in America

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9/11

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Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rihno? Rihno-elephant

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Once upon a time, your face.

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Have you ever seen that clown at walmart that hides from gay people?

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Knock knock Who's There? Idk, who the **** names their kid There?

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops