An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

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Yo mama is so hairy, because she's arab.

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Poop

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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What do you get when you cross some eggs and some toast? Breakfast.

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Q: What is the difference between a tree and a women? A: your mom

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Justin Bieber walks into a Gay-Bar. He is then kindly escorted out because he is underage. Also, because the patrons gave him certain looks that brought concern to the heterosexual bartender.

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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What has wheels and spins round and round? A dog in a wheelchair.

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Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

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What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What kind of society have we created that a chicken can't even cross a road without his motives being questioned?

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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What's older than history? Pre-history.

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What's the worst part about seeing a dead baby on the beach? The crushing sadness.

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I've got a joke for you. The people writing these jokes. Thats a joke.

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Grandma walked into the kitchen...

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national song of the mute person? 5 minutes of silence please

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Why did the girl suck the other guy off? to get paid

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What did the cat say to another ? meow

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your mammas so fat she has to buy pants in the xxlarge section of the store

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Ever hear the joke about the black guy going to jail its not a joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops