a mom tell her kid not to play with knives ten years later tells her kid not to play with knives and the kid asks y and the mom says because ur older brother killed his father and himself playing with knives so the kid said mom i promise i wont do that then kils his mom and himself

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Two girls are sitting quietly.

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how do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? throw a mars bar off a cliff!

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I'm so hungry I could eat food

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i am a dwarf i have a big nose im a ranga nice to meet you julia

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Get me a sandwich, bitch

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Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, this joke sucks.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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whats arrogant, has blonde hair and belongs in the kitchen? Gordon Ramsay

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what do you call a man that looks like will ferrel? jim

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What did jell say to the carriage driver from Uzbekistan that was underpaid and had no banter? Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? He received many presents because his parents loved him very much.

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two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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a man died

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How did the Jew escape being put in the gas chamber? He killed himself.

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what is the difference between having sex and having sex on my period ..... i have something to drink when i have sex on my period

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Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

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Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others don't

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Why did the man cross the road? Because that it where his friend Bob lives.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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