shall i compare thee to a summers day, no, because thee are ugly, yay

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Haikus are rigid, Their structure gives them beauty, And if you ignore the structure they kind of don't make sense and are bad.

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I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

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what's worse than getting an unwarranted parking ticket? Serving a life sentence for killing the meter man.

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how many people can you eat? well, im not canniballistic, so none unless i was starving.

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What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Get it repaired.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Frank Frank who? I killed your grandma

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What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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a man died

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Seen the new batman movie? [spoiler] the audience dies

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What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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"Knock Knock" "Who the hell is it?" "Patri..." "Go the hell away!"

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did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? he's all right now

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Why did Justin Beiber cross the road? He didn't because he is still in the closet!

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Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating at night? A: Yell "DROP IT NIGGAH!" Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating in the day time? A: Run away cause your house is haunted.

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Jake: "Guys Apple's new phone is going to be curved." Bob: "Who makes curved phones?" Jake: "Apple."

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what do you call a disabled black man getting beat up? an unfortunate human

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Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

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Andrew: who's better at football, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady? Thomas: ur mom

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Why did the man cross the road? Because that it where his friend Bob lives.

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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