how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

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Your mom walks into a bar.

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whats a dexter whats a died? HaHaHaHaHa Im so so funny

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A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

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Yes and no, I am into literature, I am a writer, of how to rape and kill guides for the whole family (raping the whole family that is, again instructions for the whole family with inspirational quotes) Now give an example of each book to each family member without a cover stating what the book is... ...And after the first time, the world was never the same again.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue Goldfish

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Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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Why did the man have 3 girlfriends? A: because he is a womanizer

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who drinks pee? katness

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Yidi Huang lives here.

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What was the dying boy's last wish? Not to die.

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whats red that looks like ketchup taste like ketchup and is't tomato sorce? ketchup

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A chicken doesn't need a motive to cross a road, it just does.

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what did the black guy say to the other black guy? good morning

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Why did Billy start crying? Becuase he's fat and stupid and noboy loves him

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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Seen the new batman movie? [spoiler] the audience dies

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Your mom is so stupid she went back to collage and got her masters n buissnes.

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finding nemo didnt make sense how could a shark go on a no fish diet

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A tiger walks into a bar. Clearly there is something wrong with animal control.

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Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white

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if a dinosaurs could talk, what would they say nothing their all dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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