did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? he's all right now

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the black man go to school? So he could graduate with a degree and persue his life in medicine. He later goes on to get his P.H.D. He now supports his healthy family of 5 and living in Idaho, the state of the potato. He has a job as a doctor and is making more than $2M a year. Ha, didn't expect that now did ya.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Jesus may have walked on water, but Stephen Hawking runs on batteries.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. "Knock, Knock!" "Who's there?" "Not Sally"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

why did the chicken not cross the road? He ran

thumb_up thumb_down -67

A man walks into a school, he then proceeds to gun down the majority of the students before taking his own life. What a sad, sad day.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had to arms. Knock knock Who's there? Well clearly not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Andy Warhol said we will all be famous for fifteen minutes. My soccer coach molested me and the trial was televised, they obscured my face and voice because I was twelve at the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats gay and can do flips? A gymnast

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: what do you call this?: the boi wuz ridin the scool bus and it crased in a wal. A: grammacally flawed

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the guy with Alzheimer's say to his.... Wait, I forgot the joke

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is sad about four lawyers in a car driving of a cliff? The car fit six people.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a man with no legs? Disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Three Jews walk into a bar... I lied, it was a gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What has two thumbs and cancer? This guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

JFK

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Did you hear what happened when the President, the Pope and the Dalai Lama went golfing? Neither did I.

thumb_up thumb_down -104

What's red, yellow, and full of diabetes? Mcdonalds

thumb_up thumb_down +153

What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what's worse than getting a bad test grade? being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Well, a test is a well thought-out series of questions, usually used in schools to determine a students final grade.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What stinks and comes out of someones mouth. Bad Breath

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops