A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

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What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why didn't the blond resolved the Cold War? Once the blond's socio-economic background was really poor, she didn't have enough education to solve such geopolitical conflict, envolving imperialism, international influence, militar power and scientifical power, still without armed conflicts, as the respective leaders of both United States of America and United Soviet Socialist Republics knew a armed conflict would cost too much lifes, and even in a totally utilitarian society, the benefits of the war to both countries wouldn't be enough to justify the death of thousands. Therefore, its concluded that a meedle class person wouldn't be enough capable to be the charged to solve this kind of tenssion between States, and it would be really silly if someone happened to encharge the blond in issue.

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knock knock your nana had a cardiac arrest and thankfull dead now

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A plane is flying low over New York City. It's low on fuel and needs to land.

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Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

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If I said "This AntiJoke will get thumbs up" It will get thumbs up

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When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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Why is the black guy unable to support his family? He's 3 years old.

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What does Helen Keller put at the end of every sentence? A period.

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What has five letters and sounds like "trucks?" Vroom

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Oliver O'Farkle walks into a blue room carrying a bag of oranges and Swanson J. Doople walks into the same room in a parallel universe carrying a ballpeen hammer. How much collective space do the two women occupy and will they be able to make the 4pm train to Terre Haute? No, because the train is running late so transportation efficiency on the day in question proves impossible.

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What is more scary than an AK47,blood,and 99999 naughty children? Nothing problaly :p

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Why did the black guy cross the road? i have no idea but i hope he got to the other side safely.

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ObamaCare

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Am I the boss.No I was just offered the job

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Q. Which is bigger, a dog or the Statue of Liberty? (Trick question! Think carefully before looking at the answer!) A. The Statue of Liberty.

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What happened when Satan met God ? Nothing, because neither Satan nor God exist.

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Q. Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A. Because he slipped on his moms three day old tampon.

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What's black, white and red all over? A popular novel printed in multiple languages.

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Dear mom, I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, Neither can the rapist.

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How did mary and molly have sex it is impossible for two women to perform sex

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Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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