What do you call a man with no arms and legs in the ocean? Dead.

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what did the orphan say to the adults wanting to adopt him? i hope u will provide well living conditions because i have lost both of my parents and am forced to live off one meal a day

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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religion.

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The Sarah Palin bus tour to teach children about history.

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Why did the rabbit fall out of the tree? because it was dead Why did the bird fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the rabbit

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Why did the man stop chewing gum? I threw a grenade at him.

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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

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Why did the samurai commit Sepuku? Because it is an honorable Japanese tradition.

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What's the difference between a pancake? They both taste good with jam

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shauns beautiful

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how do you make a blonde snowman? hollow out the head.

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? People cross roads all the time, each for their own personal reasons. Questioning their motives is generally accepted as being unnecessary, as it is a relatively safe action as log as one is careful and heeds the laws of traffic.

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How did the snail travel around the world without any help from a transportation device? Sadly, it didn't. The snail is incapable of this kind of long distance travel due to it's small size, lack of speed and short lifespan.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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cancer

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Q. Why Did The Blond Have The Biggest Tits In The Third Grade? A. Because She Was 21

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Knock Knock Who's There? No One No One Who? ...

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What's worse than finding a fly in your coffee? The holocaust. What's worse than that? Two flies in your coffee.

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So a female ant walks into a bar... and someone steps on it.

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Two men walk into a bar... ..I didn't say what type of bar...

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What did the duck say to the flag? NOTHING DUCKS CANT SPEAK or flags

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Q: What did Stevie Wonder eat for dinner last night? A: Something consumable

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knock. knock. whos there? BOWLING SHOE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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