- Anti Joke

Q: How did Whitney Houston die? A: Who?

Two cannibals were eating a clown. One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?!" ...Two days later, both of the cannibals became very ill with food poisoning. Always ensure meat is cooked thoroughly before eating.

Q. what is catness and pita name together pines

Why are you reading anti-jokes? ... why are you looking at me like that? I asked you a question, idiot.

If your uncle helped you off An horse, would you help your uncle jack off an horse?

Why did the 16 yearold pregnant girl cross the road? To get to the abortion center

What do you call a black man who walks into a jail cell? A hard working and dedicated police officer who was just putting his first offender in jail.

Roses are red, But ravens are black, please go to China, and never come back!

why are you adopted? cause no one loved you.

Miranda Cosgrove's singing career. ......Thats it. Thats the joke.

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

penis

Steven hawking walks into a bar. a.w j.p

Darude - Sandstorm

What's black and blue and red all over? I don't know, that's why I was asking you.

Joay impistato is a fig

A man walks into a bar and sees a large jar filled to the brim with $20 bills. He asks the bartender why there is so much money in the jar, and the bartender tells him that he has a horse in the back of the building, and he has a bet that if someone puts $20 in the jar and can make the horse laugh, then they will win all the money. The man, feeling confident, puts his money into the jar and tries to make the horse laugh. It is a horse, so of course he cannot make it laugh. He leaves, dejectedly, having just wasted 20 of his hard earned dollers.

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

Son: Dad what does it mean to f***? Dad: Jimmy! don't use that kind of language.. use the word chainsaw instead. Son: Ok, well what does it mean to chainsaw? Dad: Well as you know, God created people, he started with Adam and eve and then he- Son: You keep referring to god as a he, are you suggesting that God has a penis? I guess that would explain the big bang theory... right? get it? Dad: ... Go chainsaw yourself, Jimmy.

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried to to commit suicide.

why did the iraqi woman bury her wedding ring in the ground? because it's the only way she could properly pay respect to the death of her husband who recently died in a group suicide bombing.

Roses are red pickel are green i split you legs whats in between

What black and white and red all over? A panther I was lying about the red and white.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops