What did the bungee jumper say to his wife? Honey, I'm going bungee jumping today.

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-Ask me if i'm a crab. -Are you a crab? -No, why would i be a crab?

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Sticks and stones may break my bones and they can also break cars.

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GAME OVER!!!!!! OF COURSE!!!!!! I BEHELD AS SATAN FELL FROM THE SKY..: LIKE LIGHTNIIIIIIIIIIIING! Street Fighter 2: The (antijoke) Movie. Moral: Raul Julia, you are the man, rest in peace dude you made that movie a masterpiece, do not give this a thumbs up for me, but for the most brilliant performance he ever gave.

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why did the cute baby start crying?? because its feet were eaten by rats.

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what's red and smells like blue paint? im color blind

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how do you make your mom mad? mushroom stamp her face

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing finding a worm in an apple is disgusting because worms are disgusting creature that shouldn't live in an apple

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says "Why the long face?" The horse, being unable to understand the barman, breaks a table and shits on the floor.

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your on a bus and you ask your math teacher if you got the answers on the homework right and the bus crashes in the middle of an intersection.

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Why did the white man cry? Because his mistress, Shanghai, was threatening to tell his wife that they were in a relationship and, out of anger, he bashed Shanghai's head in and she is dead,

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What do you call a pen sitting on a counter? A righting utensil not being currently used.

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What's big and red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater!

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Ay Bee Cee Dee Ey Ef Gee Haych Eye Jay Kay El Em En Ow Pee Queue Our Es Tee You Vee Doubleyou Ex Why Zed Now you know your ABC, come along and sing with me!

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bill: HEY! your moma so fat bob:so i dont care shes gonna die soon anyway

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Coffee just isn't his cup of tea.

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Your mother is so fat, that the doctor said, "Go on a diet or you will get a Cardiac Infarction."

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Q: What is the differenc between a Jew and a boy scout? A: The boy scout comes back from camp.

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What time is it? Ask chuck Norris! Gosh!!

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what's red, blue, and white all over? The American Flag

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How many cats get hit by a car per day How ever many cats you can find

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So a Jew an Asian and a gay guy all walk into a bar... ...I lied. It was an oven.

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How do stop a clown from laughing? Hit in the face with a hatchet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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