YA MAM, is a very nice person

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog. Instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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My Joke Is The Persons Below Me I I V

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shot in the face by a shotgun that shoots fireworks that explodes into chainsaw bullets.

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How is a white orphan like a black baby? Neither are sure who their parents are :(

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What do you get when you cross a jack-o-lantern and an antelope? Nothing. You wouldn't see an antelope by a pumpkin.

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Roses are yellow Violets are yellow bark bark

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what do you get when you cross a rhino and a chicken? well, if you're unlucky and too close too the chicken, salmonella if you provoke the rhino, impaled

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Oh wait i screwed up, Because of u

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why did the zack fall off his bike because his mum thew a frege at him

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Guess what? The Game.

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Why did then plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q.Whats funny about death A.You die

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What do you do if you see a bleeding Mexican in your front yard? Quickly respond to the accident and supply the wounded victim with first aid.

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Whats the difference between a dead cat and a woman. The cat had a life.

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Hey! Where is my tracker?

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Q: What did the Kool-Aid Man say when he crashed through a wall? A: "OW! That hurt!"

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Why black guys are the fasttest runners? Because the slowers are already in prison

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What happened when Aladdin rubbed his lamp? It got slightly cleaner.

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Why did the plane crash? -Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why do policemen wear belts? To hold up their pants.

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A horse walks into a bar the bar tender says hey you cant be in here you are a horse so the horse leaves.

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No I do not think that, that would be a wasted thought.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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