A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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There was a man sinking in quick sand. He looked in the sky and said, "God, if you spare my life, I'll be a great person and believe in you all my life." He died.

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Patrick- hey spongebob i thought of something even funnier then 24 Spongebob- What patrick- 25

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How many hearts does a jellyfish have? None.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex.

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What did the priest say to Jesus when he revealed himself on Christmas morning? Happy birthday

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What did the chicken say to the dog? Well, since chickens can't talk, they both stood there in an awkward silence.

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Why did the vegetarian lose her foot? Diabetes.

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What is the best way to kill Kony? Shoot him in the head.

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Why'd the girl fall of her scooter? She fell into a hole and died. She was never found again. All that was left was her scooter.

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what did the asain have for dinner? A: rice

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Q. how do you get 50 babies into a bowl? A. blender Q. how do you get them out of the bowl? A. Doritos

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what has the same importance as mothers day? fathers day

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Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?? Theres one less drunk.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A person who has black, white, and red paint on his or her body.

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What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

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roses are red violets are blue you know what? im sick and tired of this joke.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Norris? well no one knows for certain, but they do know there's alot of fridges involved

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I thought I was a bird and I could fly Gravity painfully reminded me I was only a human

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Gay's rights

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what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Nazis did't burn the pizza

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my friend is gay hes gay

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There was a cat, an astronaut and a nun. The cat was sleeping, the astronaut was floating, and the nun was praying. There was a singer, a dancer and an actor. The singer was singing, the dancer was dancing, and the actor was acting.

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How did Darth Vader make the little black boy's day? "I am your father"*heavy breath, heavy breath*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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