If i could rearrange the alphabet, i'd put my penis in your mouth

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Row, row, row your... Canoe.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did one chimney say to the other chimney. Nothing, chimneys dont talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

3 Mormon men walk by a blonde woman eating a banana. They are not distracted by this and continue their journey of spreading Christianity.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you get when you put a cat in a Xerox machine? A copycat.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was Friday night (or Halloween or St. Patty's Day) and the chicken was at a party. He got totally drunk, and then got the bright idea that it would be okay to drive home. On a rural two-lane highway, his vehicle careened into the oncoming traffic lane, and then the ditch, thus crossing the road. Fortunately, he walked away with only a few scratches. However, he was cited for wreckless driving, and got a DUI as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's green and has wheels? Boogers on a skateboard.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A blonde, a redhead, and Asian are talking. They are friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

19th amendment

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Your mother is so fat........... that she is morbidly obese and is at severe risk for diabetes and other weight related diseases.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: what did 7 say to 11? A: weres every one else?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? I doubt it thought much about this. The chicken is a simple animal, and i doubt its actions were spurred by any particular motivation.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's red and smells like green paint? The rotting corpse of the old lady I poisoned with green paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the deer die Because Jupiter is incapable of supporting life

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did Kelly never see Wass? cus she never looked in right places !!!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why are oranges blue? Wait there orange... right

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why couldn't Sally ride a bicycle? She doesn't have a bicycle. She also doesn't have legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

how do you kill a blonde? hit her in the back repeatedly with a crowbar

thumb_up thumb_down +20

There once was a man from Peru. He dreamt he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright, In the middle of the night, To find a man had murdered his wife and children.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

1: Knock. Knock. 2: Don't come in I'm naked.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? The same number it would take people with any other hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbour. My neighbour who? Timothy, welcome to the neighbourhood!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you get when a bulldog and shitzu reproduce? A litter of extremely cute puppies.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why did the puppy poop? he had too

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops