Two men are sitting on a park bench discussing the anatomy of goats. Where is Bertha? Teaching the principals of mathematics to blind orphins in Moscow, Russia.

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what happened to the boy that walked down the street he got hit by a falling street light

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What would you do for a klondike bar? I'm allergic to milk.

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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Why was O.J acquitted for murder? A jury of his peers deliberated for many days and found there was not sufficient evidence for his conviction.

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What do you get when you read a book? More knowledge in your brain.

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Q: what is long hard and full of seamen A: a submarine

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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A duck walks into a bar.... Animal control is swiftly called and the duck is relocated to a nearby park.

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Why is an orange, orange. Because you can't clean a window with a spade.

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A hipster gets summoned for jury duty. The case is solved promptly and everyone goes home happy.

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So I was eating pancakes in my driveway...or were they waffles?

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What's the difference between dead babies and Christmas lights? I don't have Christmas lights hanging on my Christmas tree...

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How do you know it's a Mexican's birthday? They bring cupcakes to school for your entire class to enjoy.

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2 people with ADD are playing baseball. One of them pitches to the other guy and the other guy swings his arms around, misses, then gets hit by a baseball bat. The batter then realized he was the pitcher and the other guy has gone off chasing after a bird that just flew by.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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Your momma is so old, she has lived a wonderful, long life and witness a lot of human achievement.

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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The bear woke up after his long hibernation of the winter. "Boy, am I hungry!" The bear wandered around and ate some berries. "These blackberries are too bitter and unripe for my taste, I'll go eat something else." He stumbled upon a honeybee hive and took some honey out and ate it. He was swarmed and stung by many of those bees. "That wasn't my favorite batch of honey, I'm still pretty hungry, let me go find some other food. He came across a cabin in the woods. "There maybe some food in there." To some, this was known as the Northern Vermont Massacre. It was a tragic happening. The 7 membered family, the Hernandez family, all died that day. The bear chase all of the adult and children and the house and brutally ate them.

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An American man stopped me the other day and asked for the time, I looked at my watch and said: 5 o'clock.

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two guys walk into a bar. the third guy ducks

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How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

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what's more funny then being raped? not being a minority!

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What's Pink And Fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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