What is long and hard on a black man? First grade.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead John then proceeds to violently masturbate. Sam at first feels uncomfortable, then shits all over John and joins in.

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Why was the asian boy made fun of in the locker room? Because of the nipple piercing he had.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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A Mexican walks up to a fence in Texas and watches as the police take away his next door neighbor for tax evasion.

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Is this where I type the joke?

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What's the difference between gays and straights? Sexual orientation

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Why did the woman cry? She was sodomized by wild animals

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a man walked into a bar ouch

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't. Six and seven are numbers, and cannot feel emotions such as fear.

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why is red the first color in the rainbow? I don't know go ask a scientist.

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What did the woman say when the man got her flowers? "Why thank you."

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First person: Knock, knock. Second person: Who's there? First person: You know. Second person: 'You know' who? First person: O.O LORD VOLDEMORT!

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#scabbers

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a man walks into a bar....... thats it.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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A pig, a chicken, and a cow are born on 3 separate barns. They are raised by old men who subside off the grains of the field. When the animals mature, the farmers will butcher the pig, slaughter the chicken, and gut the cow. The farmer who raised the chicken may enjoy a few eggs first but the animals will all die eventually. Either of natural causes or more likely being butchered for profit. Cows make milk.

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"We have such clean water we drink and do a lot of other stuff with it" The American said. "What other stuff do you do with your clean water" The African Child said. "Well we take showers in and we go to bathroom with it" The American said. "So let me get this straight you even take a Shit in it to" The African Child said.

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What did the kid with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? A: Polio.

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If you don't see banners here, it doesnt mean their not there...

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family!

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Why do women wear deodorant and makeup? Because they're ugly and they stink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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