A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What do you call a giggling penguin? Personification.

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Want to hear a cat joke? Just kitten.

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Why did the wealthy black man shoplift from the convenience store? He is a kleptomaniac.

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a tree? Nailing1 baby to 10 trees

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What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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Whats the differense between a pile of dead babies and a Farrari I actually have a Farrari in my garage.

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what did the parapelegic (limbless) kid get for his birthday? Heart failure

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely to get to a source of food or escape a predator.

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Q: What dosent a Jew and a pizza have in commen? A: The pizza dosent scream when you put it in the oven.

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A black man walks up to a jewish man in a bar. They engage into a nice conversation, seeing how they were friends back in college.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jonny Jonny who? Jonny tsunami, hope you can swim Japan

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress

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What did the black man do with the piece of bacon? He ate it.

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Why did the black man buy watermlons? Because a new local super market just opened and they were on sale.

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have you seen Stevie Wonders house? Nope. oh well sorry for bothering you

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Kenny died. The Bastards.

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A man walks into a bar, and says "ow."

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What kind of coins to you find at the bottom of the ocean? Wet coins.

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Two men are sitting on a park bench discussing the anatomy of goats. Where is Bertha? Teaching the principals of mathematics to blind orphins in Moscow, Russia.

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what did th teacher say to the student? be quiet and do our work

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Cashier: Have a nice day sir! Grumpy man: Don't tell me what kind of day to have ya fruit!

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why are black people good at jumping and white people aren't? That's stereotyping people .... anyone can be good jumping as long as the practice.

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what did the turkey say on thanks giving? Nothing, he's dead, we ate him!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops