- Anti Joke

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A Holocaust survivor.

Why couldn't little Sally talk? Someone stapled her tongue to wall.

why did the kid get a bad grade he didnt study

Why were little Suzie's parents crying? Suzie was kidnapped by Al Qeada

What has two legs but can't walk? A quadriplegic man who lost mobility in his legs due to a horrific logging accident.

What do you call a gay black man driving off a cliff? A fine example of the dangers of drink driving.

What did the policeman say to the chav? Dickhead!

What's black and white and read all over? A zebra family that was just murdered by African poachers.

I like pancakes. I like pancakes. We have no pancakes

Why is jim gay? because he likes men

A minor walks into a bar. He's not very good at limbo.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A fossil.

Watch this summer, as General Jack Ryu, attempts to fight his way across the jungle only known as "The streets" as he seeks to save Mary.Bison from the evil clutches of Master Jamie Ken in this epic written trailer! Jack Ryu: So we are brothers? Jamie Ken: No, I am your failed clone! I spontaneously begin burning from me feet and hands! WHHHHHHYYYY WAS I NOT THE CHOOOOOSEN ONE!!!!!! Mary B: Ryu... He is the fifth! THE FIFTH HAS ARRIVED! Jim "Dan" Daniels: Yes certainly, it is well within my scientific genius to create the fifth, yet my former associate Bob Sagat lost an eye in an explosion... CAN JACK RYU SAVE THE WORLD FROM THE MOST DEVASTATING BOMB IN THE UNIVERSE: THE AKUMA BEFORE JAMIE KEN UNLEASHES IT? CAN JACK RYU... FIGHT TROUGH THE STREETS... AND LIVE UP TO THE FIFTH AND SAVE MARY BISON? ALL DEPENDS IF HE CAN CONTROL HIS INNER CHUN LI! STREET FIGHTER V: rEVOLUTION

A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

what do you call a fish with no eyes fsh

how did the man get down the stairs? he walked.

Pete and Repete are sitting on a fence. Pete falls off. Pete suffers from a scraped knee and a bruised tailbone.

Why did the bus fall down? It was hit by a bus and then repeatedly battered by a blender

Do you know what is dead on the carpet ? Your mother

There once was a man from Peru, Who fell into an extremely deep sleep and woke up just before he choked to death on his shoe rubber.

What did Stephen Hawkins say to President Obama? He didn't his computer did.

What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? My d**k.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops