I saw a woman get donkey punched in the middle of the street. Nero the clit collector: You know... What is it called when A donkey kinda lifts its front hoove and hits a woman? ...WHAT? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE STARVE TO DEATH BECAUSE OF YOUR COIN COLLECTION? YOUR STAMPS ARE MURDER! (or something) At least my uh... "Friends" survive... SOMETIIIIIIIIMEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!! ...And then I kill them.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is.." "'Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is' who?"

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How much does a polar bear weigh? The average male weights approximately 1150lbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the computer say to the other computer? Nothing, computers can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +35

what did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Neither does he.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's the difference between a white man and a black man? The white man comes from European descent and the black man comes from an African descent. This leads to the difference in their skin color.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Who thinks amy mc quire is really stuiped

thumb_up thumb_down +33

how many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? one and a ladder

thumb_up thumb_down +33

- Why a black man can not jump? - Because he broken his leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the boy miss the school bus? He died in his sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Where do astronaut cows go? Nowhere. There's no such thing as an astronaut cow.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is worse than a bus falling on you? A bus with Mama June inside it falling on you.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man walks into a bar. The other one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you make time fly? You throw a clock off a building

thumb_up thumb_down +31

save water shower with friends

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Your social life

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Whats worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you tell if there is an elephant in your refrigerator? Check for footprints in the butter.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did Pikachu tell Ash? "Pikachu."

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: What is wrong on many different levels? A: Rape on an elevator.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's another name for a black priest? An African American Priest.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A Elephant was going to fight against the biggest and toughest and meanest giant African desert mouse! The battle the animal kingdom had waited for centuries! *DING!* Elephant: Get up Mickey! Mouse: Squish! Disney: How big do you really think a African "giant" desert mouse is?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops