Who livs in a pineaple under the sea? Lots of mold and bacteria

Hashtag

Are you a human?

What did the orphan get on his birthday? Cancer.

Whats blue and flies? A suffocating baby strapped to a fan.

Whats worse than 3 black people? 4 Black people

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What did the collage professor say to the plumber? Hi.

Knock knock. Come in.

A: How much do you love me? B: Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. A: But, it's morning. B: Exactly.

I don't do cocaine I just like the smell

A man walks by with a bat. A little girl crosses the street. He hits her with it because she is a little shit. A homeless atheist sees and reports it immeaditately to the authorities because it was child abuse.

What do you get when you cross a canary and a lawnmower? Nothing. A canary is a small bird, and a lawnmower is an inanimate object. Any procreation of this sort would likely produce no offspring.

what did batman say to robin before they got into the batmibile "get in the batmoblie"

Why was little Timmy an orphan? His family were slaughtered when he was three.

roses are red violets are blue your sister is pretty what happend to u??

What's faster than a black man with a TV? Light.

What's the best way to pick up girls? Lift with your legs, not your back.

Why did the man name his son David? He didn't. It was his wife's choice.

There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

fart+fart=poop

Q. what did the kid say to his foreign language teacher about the test? A: i dont understand this test, its like in a complete different language

What's black and white and red all over? A bloody zebra.

How do you stop a baby from falling into a manhole? You catch it, and then call the appropriate services and inform them of the dangerous open manhole.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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