What do you call a Jewish wanna be gangster? Drake

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What do you do if a Polish soldier throws a hand-grenade at you? Run.

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So a mama tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato were all walking down the street. The baby tomato was falling behind its parents. So the daddy tomato goes back, squishes the baby tomato and yells ketchup!

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Roses are red Violets are blue My dick can talk And it says it wants you

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I farted!!!!! t'was smelly??????? I LIKE CRABS! #tomato problems

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what did the shark do when he died.....

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Your Mum's so fat, she's going to die.

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Salad. It's green and so is The Hulk.

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because he was hungry and mcdonalds was across the street

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Your mother is so fat that when she went to the doctor he recommend she lose weight or risk high blood pressure and heart attack

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A man with Alzheimers favorite thing to read is the first page of the antijoke book

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i did your mom......a favor. by making you......... a sandwhich. i rubbed her pussy.........cat. she saw my dick.........tionary. I slapped her ass...........what i did.

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a man i knew who was a real jerk was about to drive home drunk. i was trying to stop him, but then he punched me in the face. i let him through. he died that night. i texted him all the way

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a boy says hi.The girl says bye. The boy starts to cry.

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Why did Jesus and his friends get crucified? So they could sing: "Always look at the bright side of life" Moral: Monty Python?

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how many gay guys does it take to fix a blender? baby oil!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? She had no friends.

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Why do Iraqi women never sleep with American soldiers? Because Americans always talk about pulling out but they never do!

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese

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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night? Cot death.

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gay marriage.

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette was stranded on a deserted island. A genie appeared and said nothing, because genies doesn't exist

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why did Sally fall of the swing....she had no arms. knock knock who's there? NOT Sally.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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