Welcome to die!

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why couldnt the boy get into the pirate movie? he was hit by a mexican telephone server.

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I met an Asian man in Beijing, and he had very small feet. You know why? He was a midget.

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Why couldn't Ray Charles read? He was blind.

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A man is so drunk that the alcohol has a biphasic effect on the body, meaning that its effects change over time. Initially, alcohol typically produces feelings of relaxation and cheerfulness. Increased consumption, however, can lead to dehydration, coordination problems, blurred vision, and a great number of health, medical, and social issues and other drinking problems caused by alcoholism. As articulated above, excessive alcohol consumption can lead to drunkenness. One of the short term effects of intoxication is the lowering of an individual's inhibitions. As a consequence, when people are intoxicated they frequently do things they normally would not do while sober, often ignoring legal, ethical, social, and moral or religious norms. While blurred vision, slurred speech, dehydration, and coordination can be labeled as "alcohol short term effects," other health problems such as alcohol related heart disease, liver disease, and cancer, on the other hand, can be labeled as long term effects of alcohol abuse and alcoholism. This, however brief, is an overview of the effects of alcohol. What remains to be discussed, however, is what Paul Harvey calls "the rest of the story." Essentially, "the rest of the story" is a more detailed analysis of how excessive alcohol affects an individual's life and the lives of those around him or her when the person becomes an alcoholic and suffers from alcoholism. Perhaps the most logical way to discuss this complex topic is to focus first on the classic alcoholic behaviors and effects of alcohol in the four states of alcoholism; then examine some of the "social effects" of alcohol and alcoholism and finally, discuss the medical conditions, health issues, and drinking problems that are caused directly or indirectly by alcoholism.

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A boy asks his father how babies are made. The father responds, "Babies are created via coital sex. A man rhythmically inserts his erect penis into a woman's vagina until he ejaculates. If his semen successfully fertilizes her egg, a baby will slowly grow in her uterus. After roughly forty weeks of gestation, the baby will be born."

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. <>

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate sex Especially with you

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The red guy lives in the red house, the green guy lives in the green house, and the blue guy lives in the blue house. Who lives in the white house? The purple guy, he just hasn't painted his house yet.

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How do you take a Mexican's money? You can't because they have none.

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Q. Whats the easiest way to end world hunger? A. Nuke Africa.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Neither has Stevie Wonder

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what worse than a worm in your apple being kidnapped by hores and eaten alive by rabbits

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What percentage of her brain does Sarah Palin use? 100%. That humans use only 10 or 30% of their brains is a myth.

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whats your name? bumder:)

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How many cows say moo? All of them

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Yo momma's so fat, that she was put in this joke

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How did the Joker get away? Because the Batmobile lost a wheel.

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If you replace all the letters in your name with G A Y it spells Gay... your gay

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What do u call a black man playing a jumping sport? I don't know but it is totally normal.

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why do i love my iphone because its a very versatile electronic device with many uses and i can get the anti-joke app

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What's the best Medieval job? A Jester because you get to play with balls all day.

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Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

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Two english guys meet at work

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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