What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? This would be unlikely to happen, as it would cut the story short.

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What's worse than dropping your icecream? Slavery

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream cone? Because he was hit by a truck.

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What do you call a kid on crutches? Crippled

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Knock knock, Who's there? To get to the other side

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Your mums a penis joke.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Man: Are you tired Woman: No why? Man: You have bags under your eyes and you just yawned a minute ago

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what did the blond do after she turned 18? Reelected Obama.

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so there are 3 people who have heard of this magical cliff; theyre names are harry, dick, and joe. how the cliff works is that when you jump off you turn into whatever you say as you jump. first harry jumps off and yells plane, he turns into a plane and flys off. next dick jumps off and yells bird he turns into a bird and flys off. finally joe steps up to the cliff as he was walking he trips and falls as hes falling he yells HARRY DICK he than hits the ground and dies. everyone mourned for such a well respected individual.

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How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

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a man walks into a bar....... thats it.

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jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water jack collapsed because of serious drug abuse and stress jill followed after not being able to handle the tragedy of her brothers death this wouldn't have happened if they got into my van when i asked them too.

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A chinese man walks into a bar, and he see's his friends they are black, mexican, white, and paki. This is their meeting place for their group on racial equality.

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There's a bunch of people standing around a retard...why is no one laughing? Its his funeral

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a joke.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas?

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This is not a joke.

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What do you call a man who walks at your door in a Saturday morning? A jehovah witness.

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Knock Knock!! Who's There? No one, your being ding dong ditched!

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Q:What is the differenc between batman and a black man? A: Batman can go out in the night with out robin

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Your mama's so fat.... I ran around her twice, And got lost

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: Boobees

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Remember when the whole country was sad because Marget Thatcher died? No, me neither.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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