Ask me If I'am a tree are u a tree? no.....

Why did the tree catch on fire? A phinix hit it!

Roses are red. Violets are blue. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.

The term "shots fired" often reminds me of the time a couple of buddies had a drinking contest and I shoved a lit cigarette down the loser's throat

How do you get a nun pregnant? Screw her.

What did Hitler say to the lady right next to him before the both committed suicide? I don't know, I don't understand German. I also wasn't there.

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What's Casey Anthony doing now that she's not in prison? She's actually living life as an upstanding citizen in Florida.

A gay kid and a group of his friends are at the park. Gay: hey can you do a cartwheel? Girl: helllll no! Gay: Are you straight? Girl: Yah? Gay: Im gay and i can do one.

Why can't Hank drive? Hank is a stone.

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How do you murder a blonde? You drop a bull dozer on her filled with 2 bulls, 100 wasps and a rabbit squirrel.

Friends are like pickles. If you eat them, they die.

What do the holocaust and 9/11 have in common? They were both terrible tragedies that people will look back upon in sadness for years.

Why was the woman out of the kitchen? She was at her mothers funeral.

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Johnny got hit by a bomb. Where is he now? Everywhere. Knock knock. (Who's there?) Not Johnny

Why do black guys have brown skin ? Because there born that way

What did the cricket say to the bear when it entered it's den? Nothing,crickets comunicate by rubbing their back legs together to create vibrations and sound,and it cannot be understood by any other animal besides crickets.

What's worse than Bieber fever? Yellow fever.

What is black and white and red all over the news paper of someone with tuberculosis

What do Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston have in common? They were both great singers.

What goes good with coca cola? Thirst

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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