Stewie: MOM! MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMA! MOMMY! MOM! MOMMA! MOMMY! MOM! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! Lois: WHAT!!! Stewie: Hi, hehehehehehe. Family Guy -Louis

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I'm a like whore

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Salesmen. Does this smell like chloroform to you?

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do you wanna hear a joke cutsforbieber#

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Being Killed

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Ipod to earbuds: "hey buds" earbuds response: "sup player"

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Whats the difference between a ferrari and a boner? Too much to list.

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Q: What did one dog say to the other dog? A: "Bitch!"

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Diarrhea

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Why did brad pay the sexy looking librarian with a big smile on his face? Becouse brad returned his books to late and had to pay a fine for that. The librarian made a joke about the fact that it was a waste of money to return the books late.

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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A man walks into a bar and takes his seat. After a minute, someone shouts "133!" and this is followed by a couple of slight chuckles around the room. Later, "57!" is heard from the corner, followed by harsh laughter. After a while, someone shouts "66!" which is met by an uproar of uncontrollable laughter. The man, confused by the evening's events, asks the barmam what is going on. The barman explains, every joke has been told countless times so instead of reciting them, they are numbered and people call out the numbers. The man catches on to this, and therefore shouts "453!" which is followed by a deadly silence, because no one had heard that particular joke before, so 453 was just a number to them.

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eloise dey.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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What did the German say when the whole of India blew up: "Wow, das muss eine gewaltige Explosion haben! Wie haben sie das geschafft?"

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What happened to the starving african kid? He died

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When's the right time to join reality? Right now! Get off your computer!

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What's Donald Trump's favorite color?

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What rhymes with 'stick' and is brown? A stick

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Roses are red, violets are blue my name is clearance, and i have to poo

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Why is Roenz Gay? He isnt.

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You should never talk to strangers.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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What did the Batman say to the Joker? "I am the Batman."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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