A man walks into a bar. Q: What's the apple doing on your head? A: Peach? It's not pear. It's banana.

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That didn't hurt.

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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What did the onion say to the the the other other onion Ima cut you fool and make yall cry

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What isn't funny? The holacost.

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What is the square root of 69? 8.30662386

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Watch this summer, as General Jack Ryu, attempts to fight his way across the jungle only known as "The streets" as he seeks to save Mary.Bison from the evil clutches of Master Jamie Ken in this epic written trailer! Jack Ryu: So we are brothers? Jamie Ken: No, I am your failed clone! I spontaneously begin burning from me feet and hands! WHHHHHHYYYY WAS I NOT THE CHOOOOOSEN ONE!!!!!! Mary B: Ryu... He is the fifth! THE FIFTH HAS ARRIVED! Jim "Dan" Daniels: Yes certainly, it is well within my scientific genius to create the fifth, yet my former associate Bob Sagat lost an eye in an explosion... CAN JACK RYU SAVE THE WORLD FROM THE MOST DEVASTATING BOMB IN THE UNIVERSE: THE AKUMA BEFORE JAMIE KEN UNLEASHES IT? CAN JACK RYU... FIGHT TROUGH THE STREETS... AND LIVE UP TO THE FIFTH AND SAVE MARY BISON? ALL DEPENDS IF HE CAN CONTROL HIS INNER CHUN LI! STREET FIGHTER V: rEVOLUTION

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal.

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If you are a girl reading this! why did you stop making some food?

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What did the pimp do to his bitch? He thanked her and rewarded her for her years of dedication and preserverance

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Why did the potato commit suicide? Forget that. Why was the potato alive in the first place?

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Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

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Two men walked into a bar. The third transformed into a duck and flew away.

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Why was the little boy so bad at the piano? It was his first time playing it.

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Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Because after twenty long years of monotonous nagging, he finally snapped.

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How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

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How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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What's black and white and read all over? A zebra family that was just murdered by African poachers.

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Q: What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? A: Drowning.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I'm bleeding, Shit.

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What did the man say when he was asked if he recently saw a mime painting a lawn chair in the middle of December? "No." , and walked away, slightly confused by the matter.

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Where do 4 Mexicans in a car go? In the Car Pool lane.

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how do you get to your favorite chinese restaurant? Wok.

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Why does Snoop Dogg have an umberella? For shielding himself from the rain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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