How many dead babies can you fit in a drawer? 10 25* *if you use a blender

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Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot.

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The cookie monster walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why do you seem so blue?" Everyone laughed. Then the cookie monster replied "my wife died."

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese

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this is gay

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Why did I put the baby into the blender feet first? So I could see its facial expression

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a man walked into a bar.... when i say bar i mean a metal pole, the man suffered from concussion

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat

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Why did the blonde drown in the bathtub? Her father repeatedly molested her and beat her mother, she no longer wanted to live in such a life and promptly committed suicide

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What's harder than a rock? The dead baby in my freezer.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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Why did the kid drop his lollipop? He got hit by a bus.

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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Q: What happened when Bob the Super-mega-ultra man, in his hurry to return an item that was objectively proven to be hazardous to physically normal people, banged his head very hard against a wall of a random building that was located on his route of travel? A: He recieved a concussion and had to coalesce in bed for a long time in order to return back to his regular style of living. Bob was merely a nominal 'Super-mega-ultra' man. He gets hurt practically as easily as anyone else.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Q: Why were the chicken and the cow friends? A: Because they shared common interests.

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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A Palestinian and an Israeli both board a plane at the same time. They exchange awkward glances and take seats at different ends of the plane.

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Why do people like the number 69? Because some people have favorite numbers, and 69 is a number.

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The club cant even handle me right now Because theyve reached their limit of people allowed in

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Have you heard that Hitler and Osama Bin Laden share a room with saton in hell

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Why couldn't the baby boy read the book? He had eye cancer and was therefore blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops