Why does Snoop Dogg have an umberella? For shielding himself from the rain.

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Why did I have sex with your mom? Because she was a beautiful individual with a fine taste in the classical arts. She also offered me a ride to her place for a delicious 3 course meal. Afterwards our romance blossomed and we decided to have sexual intercourse to show our mutual appreciation for each other.

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Why God isn't a woman? Because Moses wouldn't last it 40 days on the mountain if that was true. And he also wouldn't come back with only 10 rules.

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What did they farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a cheese grader? How the hell should i know?

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What did the rabbit say to the rabbi? ...RABBITS DO NOT TALK! So then the rabbi said, "In that case you must be a hare!"

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Q. What's better than a breadmaker? A. A sandwhich.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Women's rights.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

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What did the goat say to the other goat? They are poorly evolved animals and incable of speaking.

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night, To find nothing amiss.

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I pooped my pants

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The man with a long history of Alzheimer's once said: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cheese n' toast

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What do you call a mexican working at Taco Bell? An intelligent young man who recently graduated from high school, but due to his family's lack of money, he cannot pay for college, which is one of the reason's why he is working. He also needs money becuase he has a child on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection while having intoxicated relations with his girlfriend. I wish him the best of luck!

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What is funny about a child with down syndrome? Nothing.

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A family of aristocrats walks into a talent agency and shows their performance. The talent agent asks: "How do you call yourselves?" They say: "The Aristocrats", "because that's what we are; Aristocrats."

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What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?

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what do you call a animal with 3 horns. a triceratops

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what do you call a middle eastern man on a plane? a passenger.

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Why did the rapist go to the girl's dorm? He wanted to apologise for his crimes, and brought them all a drink. It was spiked, he raped them

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Yo mama's so fat, she weighs over 400 pounds.

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What did the pregnant teenager get for her birthday? An abortion.

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Reverse psychology never fails.

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why are asians eyes so slanted? because THEY WERE BORN THAT WAY!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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