Billy's alarm clock went off at 8:00 AM but Billy was really tired but still his Dad forced him to go to school.

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What does a plum and a rabbit have in common? A: they're both purple, except for the rabbit!

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin says, "Boy it's hot in here." The second says, "It sure is." Both muffins then faint from heat exhaustion and are eaten to death when taken out of the oven And thus tragically, the world would never know of the spectacular talking muffins.

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Why do mexicans have so many children??? Because condoms resemble skinny balloons.

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A dog and a bird are sitting in the front yard of a small suburban community. The bird turns to the dog and says nothing, because birds lack the ability to speak. The dog then reaches down and slowly consumes the bird before returning to his house.

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Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son was captured by a sexual predator, and your daughter tried to run from them, and now she's under the wheels of the bus going round and round.

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What do you call a black man jumping off a bridge? Suicide.

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what happens when 15 babies cross the street? well, some may be hit by cars. others will have to face the harsh life of reality.

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What do you get when an elephant and a penguin have a baby? Dunno, it's seems highly improbable.

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Directions- I would be lost without you. Thank you for always being there for me.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. It is ignorant and offensive to judge the world of cardinal numbers, where protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary, by the standards of human societies.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the clown fall off the swing? Because he was dead.

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So a female ant walks into a bar... and someone steps on it.

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How do you know your cat is gay? Other cats have buttsex with him

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What would the world be like without 1 direction it would still be the world but just without 1 direction

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Chicken penis.

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who's best is friend is really good looking? James Cornish

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Whats the easiest way to kill a blonde? Shoot her

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than that? Dying. What's worse than dying? Finding three worms in your apple.

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What is the best place to get watermelons and fried chicken? A Watermelon grove and a popeyes and/or KFC

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The gay man came out of the closet.....Not that he wanted the world to know about his alternative lifestyle but because he is fairly wealthy and keeps his trousers on hangers in the rear of his walk in closet.

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Did you hear the one about the kid that farted in class? Cool.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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