Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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Why did the Mexican guy run to the hospital? Because it was faster than walking.

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No I do not think that, that would be a wasted thought.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Why didn't the family go through the door? Because it was a window.

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Usually, the bad (anti) jokes are the ones that don't make you laugh. Sometimes you laugh "with" the joke, other times, you laugh at the joke itself because it is a paragon for human failure. The jokes on this website are not exempt from that rigid stipulation. However, it should be noted that all the "jokes" on this particular website are actually hilarious because of the latter reason delineated in the above paragraph. Additionally, this joke was created by a machine and thus the originator of this work is by no means able to learn from the process of trial and error and therfore can make myriad unfunny jokes without compromise.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress

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What is quite heavy and if it falls off a tree and hits you in your head you die? A sheets packet

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What is white, long, and thin? A tablecloth

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What did the onion say to the the the other other onion Ima cut you fool and make yall cry

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Women.

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Roses are red Violates are blue Go to hell I hate you

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Heat oven to 375°. Grease 18 regular-size muffin cups (or 12 large size muffins). In bowl, mix butter until creamy. ... Add eggs one at a time, beating after each. Beat in vanilla, baking powder and salt. With spoon, fold in half of flour then half of milk into batter; repeat. Fold in blueberries.

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If there are 3 apples, and Johnny takes away 3 of them, how many apples does Johnny have? None, because Johnny got hit by a train.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is.." "'Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is' who?"

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1:Knock Knock 2:Who's there 1: Your cousin tyler He was then brought in with the rest of the family to celebrate Thanks giving.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink, drinks his drink, and leaves.

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? The white man comes from European descent and the black man comes from an African descent. This leads to the difference in their skin color.

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Knock Knock! Come in!

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What do you call a Nazi in an airplane? Above sea level

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Why do those Indian people have that dot on their forehead ? Idk but it makes a good target.

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if x marks the spot, what does y do? y does the laundry.

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Get in the Batmobile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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