What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? An Xbox 360.

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GEORGE LOPEZ SUCKS

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If she's old enough to count, she's probably in second grade.

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Ebola

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The class valedictorian is about to give his speech to the class. He has 6 fingers total, he is missing an ear, his left nostril is burned shut, and he must walk on crutches because of the severe injury to his left knee. How does the extremely cruel Principal of the school introduce him? "Please welcome Gregory Barnes, a brave soul that conquered a battle against death itself an won".

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because you didn't fuking cook to -.-

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What's the difference between women and a bucket? before 1923, women didn't have the right to vote. Bucket's still don't.

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Knock Knock! The man inside chooses not to answer the door and the caller walks away.

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What do you call someone allergic to water ? Waterproof

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The Pope

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Pickles

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What type of person does a black guy go to when he's sick? The doctor

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2 dogs one jar of peanut butter

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Why did the guy not pet the dog? He was allergic.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Why was seven afraid of eight? Because eight nine ten.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. It was a dead monkey.

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What do Bear Grylls drink under breakfast? Tea.

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Women's rights

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Q:Why did the man fall down the stair I don't know? A:Because he wasn't careful

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Q: What is the likely outcome of anyone who watches 'WWE'? A: They will lose their virginity to a hooker.

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What is the best place to get watermelons and fried chicken? A Watermelon grove and a popeyes and/or KFC

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how many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb just 2 but it beats me how they got in there

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Why is the fat kid laying on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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