What did God say to Noah? "Hi."

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Whats not green and cant pee? Not a pea!

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Why did the white man cry? Because his mistress, Shanghai, was threatening to tell his wife that they were in a relationship and, out of anger, he bashed Shanghai's head in and she is dead,

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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No. Yes.

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How many dead kittens can you fit into a trunk? -19

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What do a black person and a monkey have in common? A. They both are organism that need food and water to survive.

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What did the lonely old man get on valentines day? Nothing, because his wife died of cancer two years ago.

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A king's son's birthday came one day and the king asked what he wanted. "You can have anything in the world son." He would say. The prince answered,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." So for his birthday he got a rollar costar, a new car, a water park, a castle, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. The same answer went out of his mouth for three years. One day the prince was driving in his car, and he got into a terrible car accadent. And while he was in the ER and saying his last words, his father asked,"Son, before you die, i must know, why did you want purple ping pong balls for your all of those birthdays?" And the prince said,"Well I wanted them because-" and then he died.

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Joseph had been temporarily blinded for over a year. While blind, he saw the doctor who told him he would regain sight the next morning when he woke up. For this special moment, Joseph decided that the first thing he wanted to see was his wife. So, his wife decided to stay up all night so she was in the right position for when Joseph woke up. However, when Joseph woke up and opened his eyes his wife wasn't there so he was a little bit annoyed.

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When crossing the river, why the old lady die? She was hit by a falling brick that fell from an airplane.

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Two guys go hunting and one of them aims the sniper at the other guy's house and says "I see your wife's cheating on you again with another man" he replies "I've had it with her, shoot him in the privates and shoot her in the mouth" the friend says "I'll get that in one shot".

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why did the feminist cross the road? To suck my D***

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Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

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If Jimmy has 50 pieces of candy and eats 40 of them, what does he have now? Jimmy has diabetes.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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How do you stop a baby from falling into a manhole? You catch it, and then call the appropriate services and inform them of the dangerous open manhole.

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Why doesnt the ladder work? A ladder is an inaminent object therefore imcapable of having a job.

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Man is hit by a falling tree his friend immediately responds "Got Wood" the man is now paraplegic

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What do Japan and Haiti have in common? They are both islands.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

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a man walked into a store got what he wanted and left.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dr. Dr who? Dr Johnson. I'm afraid you have AIDS.

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How do you make a baby cry? Hit it with a brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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