How Does My cat have Sex? With Me.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't want to.

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Q) Whats wet fishy and gets caught by fishermen? A) fish.

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? Her brother dared her to jump off the second story roof of their house...

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What happens when a rabbit is late for a very important date? Nothing, rabbits have no logical way to keep track of time.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "Only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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whats beter than a dead pile of babies? the alive one that has to eat its way out

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I once went seven years without sex, then I turned eight and my uncle raped me.

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Q:How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could would A: 26

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anne hatthaway

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Your mom is such a slut she had sex with your dad on the very first night of their marriage!

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An Asian gets into her car to drive to her grandmother's house. She arrives at 6:30 and has a wonderful dinner.

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Why did the man run? Because he was trying to get a gold medal for the 200m at the Olympics.

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What do you call a person with an arrow in their head? Dead

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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Three moose were in the middle of the road. They were then shot by a maniac hunter.

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What do you call a pakistani with a backpack on a plane? A passenger with ordinary hand luggage

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Why don't women need watches? Because they probably have a cell phone, which works just as well.

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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A: How much do you love me? B: Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. A: But, it's morning. B: Exactly.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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three men get stranded on a island and cannibals find them and they say go find 3 fruits and come back. first guy comes back with three apples and they say we will shuve them in your rectum and if you scream we will kill you he screams he dies. second guy comes back with grapes and he laughs before they can start. and in heaven the first guy says why did you laugh and he says there voices are funny.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Neither has Stevie Wonder

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Why did Janie miss school today? Because she fell in a well.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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