Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H2O." The second one then says "I'll have some H2O too." Both chemists live as no bartender is irresponsible enough to serve liquid hydrogen peroxide in a public bar.

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What do you call a black thing hanging from a tree A tire swing

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how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

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What did Bush say to Obama was elected? I'm going to have you assassinated.

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This schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson. She scored poorly from her lack of practice and experience and was turned off from the sport.

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Why did the man run? Because he was trying to get a gold medal for the 200m at the Olympics.

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Q: What's the difference between a basket of tennis balls and a basket of dead baby heads? A: One is used for the sport of tennis the other is a basket of tennis balls!

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What did Dr. Pepper say to Sprite? I'm a Doctor.

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Why does Snoop Dogg need an umbrella? Fo' Drizzle

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Q: What did the Mexican kid get for Christmas? A: My bike.

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"Doctor! Doctor! It hurts when I urinate!" "you may have a kidney stone"

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What does a dog do in his spare time? Lick himself.

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What did nike say to addidas? Hi

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What's black and blue and red all over? I don't know, that's why I was asking you.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? You eat a pizza.

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what do u call a black man a black man

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A guy asked his Girlfriend to marry him. She said Hey! a Dump Truck! and the mental Boyfriend forgot all about the Proposal and was amazed by the Dump Truck.

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Q:Whats worse than a worm in apple? A:The Holocaust. Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: Were both lawyers! :D Q: What happens when you throw a purple rock in to a green river? A: It splashes

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What's black, blue and smells like fish? A dead penguin.

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A man enters a bar. Two minutes later, a woman leaves a bar. What happened? A man entered a bar and a woman left. What's there to explain?

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Roses are red Violets are blue My friend has diabetes Stop posting diabetic jokes

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What time is the dentist appointment? Time for you to get a watch

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I love you You love me Barney gave me HIVS It started with a hug and ended on the floor IVE BEEN RAPED BY A DINOSAUR!

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the batmobile? Robin, get in the batmobile

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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