AVB

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How many prostitutes do I have to kill in order to get an erection? Three.

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Why did the old man order the little girl into the car? Because he was her grandfather.

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Ms. Smoot's class

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Why did Jerry Sandusky go to the shower room? He hadn't showered all week and was beginning to smell.

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69

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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tried to think of a great "anti-joke" not creative enough

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Like if you like big tits.

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What is black and blue and red all over? Rihanna

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the other birds had taken hostage the chickens family.

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Why did the coconut fall out of the tree? Gravity.

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Knock Knock Who's there its me... we need to talk go away tod. i told you never to come back here babe, just open the door why? so you can beat me again? i said i was sorry! i just want to see my little girl... well maybe you should of been there for us! babe... i love you you lying son of a bitch... you dont deserve us open the damn door or i will beat it down im calling the cops YOU BETTER NOT BITCH! I WILL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU! tod... please... get out come here no... NO! get the hell off of me!!!! HELP!! RAPE!! RAPE!!! SHUT UP WHORE (crying) please... please... ...mommy? SARAH! GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! MOMMY LOVES YOU! ooh.. theres my little girl. you miss daddy? GET AWAY FROM HER!!! SHUT UP BITCH! come give daddy a hug what have you done to mommy? what you want some too? SARAH I SAID GET OUT THE HOUSE! GET HELP! ...mommy im scared... (sob) oh your crying? you want something to cry about? OH ILL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT! .... you better get the hell out of here tod.. whoah... babe where did you get a gun GET OUT babe... put the gun down... relax NO YOU RELAX! all these years ive been raising this baby. without you. all by myself. and i dont want you in the picture now. ILL DO WHAT I DAMN WELL PLEASE ill see you in hell... (BANG) (BANG)

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Q. How do you break into a store that's closed? A. You walk in, I was lying about it being closed.

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Yo mamma is so fat she needs a highly dangerous gastrointestinal bypass and if she dies you will wish she had made more of an effort to diet.

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What do you call a black priest? Religious.

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Your mamas so fat. She fat.

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How do you spell Mississippi with out an i? You can't because removing an i from the word Mississippi would cause it to be spelled incorrectly.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was an identity thief.

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did you hear about the man who crossed the road? he made it.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Penis... Okay...

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sorry, wrong number.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Grass is green.

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An American man stopped me the other day and asked for the time, I looked at my watch and said: 5 o'clock.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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