How do you know it's a Mexican's birthday? They bring cupcakes to school for your entire class to enjoy.

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What's the difference between dead babies and Christmas lights? I don't have Christmas lights hanging on my Christmas tree...

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What did the man say to the really attractive woman? We are different genders

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Why was it sad that the kid was playing football? He had no arms and legs and he was the football.

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What happens when you lose your fish? It dies.

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Why was the ghost boy sad? He was attending his own funeral.

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Why did little Tommy sink to the bottom of the pool? He had no arms.

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SIMPLE EQUATION: John has 32 chocolate bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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Why did I have sex with your mom? Because she was a beautiful individual with a fine taste in the classical arts. She also offered me a ride to her place for a delicious 3 course meal. Afterwards our romance blossomed and we decided to have sexual intercourse to show our mutual appreciation for each other.

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q

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what did the smoker say to the doctor? nothing she died of lung cancer.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was stuck in its coop on the farm. Also, chickens aren't sentient, so they can't reason the same way we do.

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yo momma so fat that she's fat

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what's more funny then being raped? not being a minority!

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How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

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Q: What do you call a dog after the dentist? A: A dog.

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What is a panda bear? A bear with black and white fur.

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Whats hotter than a sunny day. A pot of boiling water.

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Question: What did one lesbian say to the other lesbian at the grocery store? Answer: Will that be paper or plastic?

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Why did the Mexican go to the food marke To get some food.

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So I was eating pancakes in my driveway...or were they waffles?

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how many horses does it take to piss on a cat 17 beccause rape isnt real in somalia

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If yesterday was friday, today is saturday, what day is it tomorrow? sunday

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops