I've done a lot of soul searching, and.... I've realized.... the & symbol really looks like a man dragging his butt on the ground.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was unaware that it could get run over by a motor vehicle.

Some blind tall guy asked a rich dude about time when the rich dude looked at his klock he remembred many things in his ugly terrible life so he said to the blind guy : its 5PM

If a tree falls on a cat in the woods, does it make a sound? Yes and no, the tree falling makes a loud noise, but the cat under it is instantly killed, preventing any sound that would of been made by the now crushed feline.

a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

What's brown, dirty, and smells like feces? Feces

a man walks into a bar and says "help me, my daughter just got hit by a car! the bartender phones the ambulance and the girl survives.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.

roses are cows violets are oranges im mental are you too

I get no respect at all. That's because I am a liar and a thief with no redeeming qualities.

what is long and bare? polonaise to the pediatric ward what is short and bald? same polonaise, 3 weeks later

Why did the blond put a condom on her hear? So, she would not get hearing ads.

Whats worse then getting caught watching porn? 9/11

O: How do you kill a black man? A: Shoot him

What is red and does not cry? Half a baby.

Friends are like pickles. If you eat them, they die.

Why did the kid kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

how does a black woman find out if she is pregnant? she takes a pregnancy test

Knock Knock! Who's there? Joe Joe who? Your friend Joe OK come in

Why did the asian man crash into the stop sign? Because there was a frog stapled to his face.

WHat did REAAAALLLY Jesus say when, walking on, wat, er?, Will somebody please get me of this floating piece of ice? Please? Stop screaming HALLELUJAH! People: HALLELUJAH!

What's funnier than a dead triceratops? Nothing, nothing at all...in fact this is scary because the triceratops and their other Cretaceous herbivores, have been extinct for over 3.5 trillion years... ........also if you see a dead triceratops, you're probably tripping on LSD.........

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

why did the boy fall of the bridge? He got shot in the head.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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