Knock Knock.

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They say there is safety in numbers Tell that to six million jews

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Jesus Christ walks into a bar and the bartender says "Holy crap it's Jesus!" and everyone quickly updates their Facebooks.

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What do you get if you cross a Sheep with a Kangeroo. An abomination unto God.

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I baked you a pie! Oh boy! What flavor? Apple.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A Holocaust survivor.

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What is quite heavy and if it falls off a tree and hits you in your head you die? A sheets packet

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Why was the little boy so bad at the piano? It was his first time playing it.

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What did the person do at the stop sign? Stop

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Do you know the Muffin Man? Of course you don't, faggot.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? The Ferrari is expensive and the babies are in a nice hospital.

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Cat got your tongue? Punch it in the face, and retrieve your tongue.

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Why do policemen wear belts? To hold up their pants.

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Q: What did Batman say to get robin into the Batmobile? A: Robin, get in the Batmobile!

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=LJP1DphOWPs#!

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Why did the cow have a pain in his stomach. It has testicular cancer.

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Why did the girl put on make-up and perfume? Because she was ugly and smelled bad.

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What did the college student say after he failed his test? He didn't say anything, he was a mute.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The visitor is deaf and therefore does not have the ability to respond.

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How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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I'm banging your sister.

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A Blonde, a Brunette, and a Red head walk into a bar They are friends from school and have not seen each other in 15 years; they are hoping to have a good night out

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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