Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. That would never happen because penguins would not be anywhere near a bath-tub at any point in their lives, I would be more concerned wondering why a penguin is in the US and calling animal control than making up a joke about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's worse than tieing a baby to a moving fan? Stopping it with a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Your mother is so ugly, because she was badly beaten.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's the difference between a table lamb? A fishing pole, automobiles are very useful

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's yellow and smells like piss? Urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q:What's worse then Finding A Worm in Your apple? A: Realizing how empty your life is.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A deaf, mute clown wearing nothing but a dead cat, a rainbow wig, and his own feces breaks into a couples home on April fools day. Then he murders them both because he is an escaped patient from an asylum for the criminally insane.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

thumb_up thumb_down -31

how did the little girl die cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: whats worse than a Muslim? A: a Jew

thumb_up thumb_down -41

what's retarded and has red hair? You. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -43

what's big fat and hairy yo mamma

thumb_up thumb_down -45

No, luke. I am your father. damnit

thumb_up thumb_down -47

What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

what has 2 eyes but can't see... an asian

thumb_up thumb_down -63

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

What did the Wife say to her husband about his Erectile Dysfunction? - Im sorry I dont know how to finish a joke based on this private a matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

What do you call a man who rides on unicorns? A liar. Unicorns don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What do you get if you cross a Sheep with a Kangeroo. An abomination unto God.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Jesus Christ walks into a bar and the bartender says "Holy crap it's Jesus!" and everyone quickly updates their Facebooks.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

I baked you a pie! Oh boy! What flavor? Apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Knock Knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

They say there is safety in numbers Tell that to six million jews

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops