I like my women the way I like my coffee: Without a penis.

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why do elephants drink so much? to try to forget.

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Terrorist walked into the bar, all dead, except for a small child. The police came and asked the boy: "Boy, how I survived the blast?" The boy answered: "I'm not a boy, I am broccoli"

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jimmy Tyler, your son Hi son *continues to open door

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How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

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24!

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Why did the coconut fall out of the tree? Gravity.

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Knock, knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest!

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What did santa claus say when he saw a girl standing on the corner? Ho Ho Ho... ;)

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot had a seizure.

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what ya call e dong withb eyes peeneyes

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javascript:alert("your own");

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? The bench can support a family.

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Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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what's funnier than 3 dead babies in a trashcan pretty much anything thats not funny

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What do you call a black guy who sells drugs? a pharmacist

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where are you?

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A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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How long did it take for Michael to screw in the lightbulb? 37 minutes. Michael has cerebral palsy.

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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Q. How do you break into a store that's closed? A. You walk in, I was lying about it being closed.

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What's the difference between dogs and humans? 8.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops