What do you call it when Chuck Norris gambles? Chuck Norris does not gamble. That would imply the chance of losing.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new home? No. Neither has he....

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What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

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Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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conrad profit

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because ie was glued to the other one. why did the third elephant fall out ot the tree? Because he thought it was a game. why did the tree fall? Because there were elephants in it.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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What's the difference between a Duck and Michael Jackson? A Duck has feathers and goes "Quack quack" and Michael Jackson touches little boys......

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What do black people eat for breakfast? Cereal.

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http://logs.omegle.com/de4e4b0

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What's a pirate's favorite color? Depends on the pirate.

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Two drums and a cymbol fall off a cliff... ba bum BUM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA it used to be ba dum ching but im so funny that i changed it to ba dum bum. credit to Alex H

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How do you survive in the wilderness? You nail an orphan to a rock underwater.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. They both start to pee, and the white man looks over to the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the blackman's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels embaraased at his latent homosexuality. They both leave, never seeing eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Why did my brother drive the speed limit? Because it's the law

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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hey bill!

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How do you scare a blonde? Put the barrel of a gun to the side of her head.

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obama's promises

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The Sarah Palin bus tour to teach children about history.

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what do you get when you put a baby in a blender? salsa how to you get it out? tostitos

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roses are red violets are blue my cat died and i have alsheimers who are you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops