whats yellow sticky and smelly? I dont know i was asking you

Why did the parrot fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Mitt Romney penis

whats the difference between chuck norris and a normal human being? nothing

Q: What's worse than being forced to eat your veggies? A: Being forced to kill your parents with a carrot.

knock knock who's there? no one, but I appreciate the fact you asked.

What's green and has four wheel? A tractor.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

Why did the man climb the mountain? Because he lacked excitement in his life.

Q: Whats red and circular? A: A red circle

Why did the tree catch on fire? A phinix hit it!

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, animals can't talk.

What's the difference between George Washington and Wiz Khalifa? George Washington died many years ago.

Why didn't Billy have legs? Because he's a fish.

Bariande: I have a belly button Kraken: haha who doesnt? MissAwkward: i dont Barinade: neither do i. haha this happened on tiny chat.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its dopaminergic neurons fired synchronously across the synapses of its caudate nucleus, triggering motor contractions propelling the organism forward, while emitting 'cluck' distress signals, to a goal predetermined by its hippocampal road mappings.

There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

What did the boy who got picked on everyday do? He took the bullies advice and killed himself.

Why are we on a roof? Becuse some idiot gave us all roofies.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

Why did the man have blood on his finger? Because he popped a pimple

A child with cancer grows up.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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