I have a black guy in my family tree? Yea, his still hanging their

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Susie has Autism

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HEY YOU!!! just checking for assholes

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What requires lots of rubbing, dirty pictures, and leaves you happy for a little bit, but then you realize you're sad and lonely? A minimum wage job where you clean pictures.

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Why did the tissue dance? Because it had a boggie

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Osama Bin Laden and a monk walk into a bar. Mistaken Identity. It was the Dalai Lama, Osama is dead.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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what glows blue and howls at the moon at midnight? I dont know but i had sex with your mother.

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No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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I'm a like whore

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Whats worse than being raped? Being raped and murdered.

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why do i want to get raped because then its not rape

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How do you get an asian out of a rice field? Napalm.

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Q: What's the difference between a basket of tennis balls and a basket of dead baby heads? A: One is used for the sport of tennis the other is a basket of tennis balls!

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Knock knock! Who's There? @HurricaneKris4 on Twitter Ok I'll follow you...

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why did sally fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock? who's there? not sally.

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What does Santa get for Christmas? Chikungunya Fever.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It's an elephant. Who's going to stop it?

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Knock knock Who's there? A ghost A ghost who?

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got into the car? "Robin, get in the car."

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Knock Knock whose there your biological parents REALLY No

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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What is the difference between a firework and a dog? One is funny to blow up and the other one is pretty lights

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Kevin was very nervous going into his job interview. So he pretended he was a salad and ate himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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