ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

What do you call a black guy, a white guy, a mexican guy, and a chinese guy jumping out of a plane? Skydivers.

I see London, I see France, I am in an airplane on my way to Europe.

What is the best thing about chuck norris? hes holding a gun to my hea

Two rocks are in the playground. Nothing happens, because rocks are not sentient beings and are thus incapable of producing any sort of activity on their own.

Chuck Norris died.

Obama

What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?

A chicken cross's the road it dies when a car runs it over

What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

Ask me if i'm a tree... "Are you a tree?".... No

Q: how do you make a baby blow bubbles? A: hold it under water, or as an alternative you could hold it under its twin sisters blood.

There are two hippopotamus' in a pond cooling off from the hot day. One is named Nathaniel IV and the other Timothy. Timothy asks Nathaniel, "Nathaniel, what day is it today?" Nathaniel then replies," I believe it is Tuesday." Timothy is taken back then replies," How odd. I could've sworn it was Wednesday."

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Thats impossible because he cannot walk.

Yeah, I never intended to keep that a secret. What is autocast?

Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

I tell an anti joke!.

What does a black man, an Asian Man, and a Jewish Man have in common? They are all men.

Why couldn't little Jessica open the door? It was locked

SCHNARRRRRR!!!!!

- Why a black man can not jump? - Because he broken his leg.

What's Brown and sticky? A stick!

A Mexican, an Asian, a black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a hispanic............... i forgot.

Why didn't the monkey fall out of the tree when someone threw a refrigerator at it? Because it was already lying on the floor dying of AIDS.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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