what time is it? 3:16

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why did the frog cross the road it was stapled to a chicken

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press a,s,d,f,g,h,j,k,l feel like a pianist

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So Jimmy's phsycology teacher is trying to think of beginnig lessons for her phsycology class. so she gets up and says "class, i want u anyone who thinks they are stupid to stand up." nobody stood up. then Jimmy stands up. The teacher says "Jimmy, u think u are stupid?" Jimmy replies "No, i just felt bad with u standing up all alone."

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What part of NO can't you understand? The part where you pronounce the 'N'.

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Do you wanna hear a Ebola joke? You probably won't get it

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

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Q: When is the best date to walk out your door in New York? A: 9/11

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Why did the bus crash? The driver was a tomato.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A: One stops sucking when you slap it.

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Why did kurt cobain kill himself? He was experiencing heavy depression

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Ze Gestapo!

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Roses are angry Violets are too My head is scratchy I need shampoo

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Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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Why did the bus drop a boy holding ice cream? Its driver was not paying full attention on the road and was sentenced 15 years for manslaughter.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Rob Rob! I haven't seen you in ages come on in.

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Why was the fish swimming on the water? Oh wait it's dead

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What did the T-rex say to the velociraptor? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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What is the difference between assault and aggravated assault? Aggravated assault is aggravated, whereas assault is aggravated.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant?

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Having legs.

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What happened after September 11, 2001? September 12, 2001

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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